Date: Fri, 18 Jul 97
From: The Great Quail
>I just subscribed to the list but I've been lurking in the archives forHear that, Fegs? She followed some of you back from the XTC List. What did Woj tell you about covering your tracks and keeping a sharp lookout behind you? Next we're going to be flooded with bloody bomb-throwing socialists from the Bragg List. . . .
But if she's had the guts to follow and the cleverness to lurk successfully despite the best attempts by Mike to catalog the whole damn list, I suppose we have no choice but to *make her one of us!* (At this point, Natalie, you must imagine a whole host of ghostly Fegs chanting "one of us, one of us" in creepy unison.) I suppose this means that Sydney must ready the feathers and the Egyyptian Cream again. . . .
> I'veI do believe that is the prevalent reason for that sort of thing around here.
>I am just starting to get back into the Hitchcockian oeuvre after a longNo, no, no, that won't do. Say all you want, despite the number of Robyn albums you have. Hell, I'm a huge Blind Faith fan, and I only have one of their albums. . . . and Eb says whatever he wants, and the only Robyn he owns is a battered cassette of Eye that Susan mailed to him!
>There are certain people out there who have constructed their own privateExactly. We had a discussion about that some while back, and I think many of us would agree.
>P.S. The Great Quail is way cool.Oh, you don't know? There is no great quail. He was only a hoax - a mythical figure invented by LJ Lindhurst and Eddie Tews. They joint-write all his postings and then mail them from a dummy server set up in Intercourse, PA.
>P.P.S. Now that I'm officially on the list, does that make me a "feg"? OrUm, earning it, eh? Well, gee, Natalie, of *course* you have to "earn" it. Just send me a private email for instructions how, and be sure to have your checkbook and marital status ready. . . .
Subject: Re: Welcome Natalie!
The Great Quail penned
this about our new Ms. Natalie Jacobs:
> But if she's had the guts to follow and the cleverness to lurkAch! Foiled again, this time by what I'd presumed to be simply a mild-mannered Chemistry teacher from somewhere deep within the black forests of Pennsylvania, one taken with strange underground role-playing games and stone circles. The Thomas Pynchon connection should have clued me in...
Yes, if it weren't for the meddling Quail, I'd have gotten away with it. Now that I've been found out and this pseudocartoon is nearly over, I'll spill my guts like all worthless TV-land criminals once caught. As the Great Quail may have gathered, I indeed work for an international syndicate of thieves and generally not very nice people. It is we who are responsible for the botched disappearance of one Debbie Flosshilde, and it was through her tortured screams that we learned of you...all of you! It was our plan (one that may yet work) to infiltrate your ranks, secure a tenuous position in your HTML-literate upper echelon, and destroy you from the inside out, like a black cancerous tumor with little squiggly appendage things snaking through your webstream. It was our hope that by creating oddly colored web pages full of maps and spinning cones laced with subliminal mind-numbing messages, our position would be secured and we would be able, through friendly chatter with lots of :p's and :)'s, to find each and every one of you. The island where we hold Ms. Flosshilde has many chambers...and no mail servers!
The Hitchcockian scourge will be eliminated, but alas this must be delayed for now. Good work, Mr. Quail. You protect your master Robyn well. May we meet again under less favorable circumstances...
By the way, if you'd still like to be part of the Globe Of Fegs, just send me your name, city, and email address. Have a nice day. :)
Mike your-buddy-and-fiend Runion
Runion's Plan is foiled! (100% Robyn in spirit content)
Date: Mon, 21 Jul 97 1
From: The Great Quail
Mike the Evil One writes,
>Ach! Foiled again, this time by what I'd presumed to be simply aWell, it's not my fault that you were slow on the uptake, Mike. You had plenty of opportunities to bust me as an undercover agent, but you were just too slow. That ridiculous thread about your name kept you so busy, I had all the time in the world to download your HTML source code and go through it. . . . I mean, come on, Mike! Stuff like:
<dominate> Look at the pretty cones! The shiny cones! Obey me! </dominate>and
<block all email from "midway.uchicago.edu">( susan dodge)and
<java script; onMouseOver= 'activate retina scan/send information toI mean, did you really think some of us haven't seen the specs on HTML 4.0? You have to be more tricky than this to catch the Globe of Fegs napping!
>Yes, if it weren't for the meddling Quail, I'd have gotten away with it.True, but no need to thank me, fellow Fegs. Just another day of meddling in the lives of supervillians. Shaggy old me, that nattily dressed Bayard, leggy Susan, intelligent Syd, and our talking dog Ebby Doo. After foiling Mike, we piled up into the Mystery van and headed out for the scandal brewing on the Thatcher.net page, where we plan to team up with the dynamic Spice Girls and defeat the evils of PM Blair, who I understand is being played by celebrity guest voice Roger Ebert.
>NowIf you would have read the List of Things Never to Do When You Are Attempting to Become an Evil Overlord, you would know not to spill your plan at every conceivable opportunity. But I am sure you are at least partially competent. I mean, you do have an escape pod ready, right?
>It is we who are responsible for theSo, Debbie gave us up, eh? And you expect us to believe *that?* Debbie would never spill her guts, unless you threatened to deny her sex and force her to unendingly listen to Ween demo tapes - my God! You *didn't?!* You fiends! If Robyn only *knew* how right he was!
But the big question - was it you that engineered the disappearance of Ziggy the Baptist? No one has seen him since that fateful concert at Hammersmith, when he baptized Robyn's drummer who then sponatnously combusted. . . .
>By the way, if you'd still like to be part of the Globe Of Fegs, just sendLook at the gall of the man! After unvieling his plot, he still has the temerity to ask for our names and addresses? Are we that far deep under the sway of the Runion?
The Great Quail